


A Bit of Trouble

by joeyrz



Series: Just A Bit [2]
Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-10-30
Updated: 1999-10-30
Packaged: 2017-10-17 06:29:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joeyrz/pseuds/joeyrz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joxer’s told he’s nothing but trouble and decides to worship Strife.  Problem is, Ares doesn’t like loosing worshipers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bit of Trouble

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Just a Bit of Mischief](https://archiveofourown.org/works/173904) by [joeyrz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/joeyrz/pseuds/joeyrz). 



> Gen version of "Just a Bit of Mischief".

Prologue

The cold marble of the altar made Joxer shiver once more. Naked and tied, ready to be sacrificed in the name of the god he didn’t even worship anymore, he couldn’t help but wonder what made him get up that fateful morning. The events of that day not only changed his life, but it seemed they would end it as well…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1

Coming out sputtering from the horse water trough, Joxer looked up to see Argo shaking her mane at him. If he didn’t know better, he’d swear he saw pity in the mare’s eyes.

After a couple of tries, he managed to finally get up and out of the horse’s drinking water. Just in time to hear Gabrielle call his name, her voice laced with contempt.

“Joxer, you’re soaking wet!”

Talk about stating the obvious, Joxer thought, a little annoyed she hadn’t even asked if he was alright. Reaching into the trough for his helmet, he dumped the water out of it. He tuned into Gabrielle’s incessant babble just in time to hear her say,

“…and boy, are you in trouble. You have the whole village mad. Xena’s trying to make peace right now.”

Just great! Just when his day couldn’t get any worse, he’d now would have to deal with an angry Warrior Princess.

He replayed the events of the last couple of minutes in his head, trying to figure out what had gone wrong in the first place.

He had been nursing a mug of ale when a stray dog in what seemed to be heat, ran into him while escaping herself from a pack of horny dogs, knocking him off balance and into a villager’s clothesline. Which had been just tented with wet sheets. Clean, white, wet sheets. The ale ended up on the bed sheets, which ended tangled around him when he tried to break free. Finally ripping away from them, the momentum he used tumbled him into the trough Argo had been drinking from, splashing the mare and several bystanders.

“You’re no warrior, Joxer. You’re just trouble,” Joxer heard Gabrielle say as she turned away to meet up with Xena.

It was a straight choice between going to the inn and drying off, while being reprimanded like a five year old by Xena and Gabrielle, or walking away from them, the village and the taunts and drying off in the process.

Joxer chose to walk away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2

Coming to rest by a lake not far from the main road, the warrior wanna be reflected on what his supposed friend and ex love of his life had said. For the life of him he couldn’t remember what had made him fall for the bard in the first place. She had always been that and more mean to him. She called him friend less than she called him pest, loser, and so many other things.

But she was right. He wasn’t a warrior. He never was, he never would be. That was Jett’s trade.

Taking off his helmet he threw it out into the lake. It was quickly followed by the rest of this ‘armor’.

After thinking for what seemed like hours, he came to a few conclusions. First, he had been fooling himself all his life. Second, he wasn’t a warrior. Third, if he wasn’t a warrior, he hadn’t any need to worship Ares. Fourth, he was trouble. Fifth, he needed to worship a god, he always felt the need to send out the regular prayers. And last, but not least, he’d have to worship the god of trouble. Or more formally called, Strife, god of mischief.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joxer was disappointed. He hadn’t been able to find a single temple, shrine or lit candle in the name of Strife in this half of Greece. And the other half he knew contained not a single place of worship of Strife, either. How was he supposed to formally pay tribute to Strife if not in a temple?

An idea occurred to him suddenly. He’d just have to build Strife a temple. Well, maybe not a temple, but he build him a shrine. Nothing could be simpler.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He knew Strife was Ares’ second in command, so what could be better than building a shrine next to one of Ares’ temples?

He went to a temple of war just on the border of Corinth’s city grounds. He found a small clearing, just outside the borders, where he could maintain a shrine without having to pay any taxes. He got to work immediately. The sooner the shrine was finished, the sooner he could finally worship his new chosen god.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 3

By the next full moon, Joxer had the shrine finished. He went to the nearest market and bought a plate full of fruits. He carefully placed them on the altar he made out of a polished gray stone and kneeled.

He had just gone through half of his prayer when he felt more than saw the energy filled light crackling behind the altar. Raising his bowed head, he carefully opened his eyes. A soft smile played at his lips when he saw the astonished look on his god’s face.

He silently looked on while Strife moved around the small clearing not more than a half a day’s walk from the temple of war he’d been lounging in. The young god nodded incredulously and finally looked into Joxer’s eyes.

“Ya did this?”

Joxer just nodded.

“Ya, like, built me a shrine?”

Joxer nodded again, unsure of the god’s reaction and as to what to do next.

That ended as soon as Strife crossed over to him and picked him up into a bone crushing hug. The god of mischief was grinning from ear to ear and muttering something about not believing he actually had a shrine and a worshiper.

When the god finally let him go, Joxer dragged in a much needed breath.

“Ya ‘kay?”

“Yeah, just need to breath continuously.”

“Sorry ‘bout that. I’m just so fucking happy!” Strife said as he draped a arm over Joxer’s shoulders, both contemplating the shrine side to side.

“Thank you Joxer, you have no idea what this means to me,” the godling said.

Suddenly Strife tensed.

“What’s wro…” Joxer question died in his lips as he saw the god of war looking at them from the altar.

“Well, well, well, what have we here?”

“Hey Unc. Isn’t this amazing? Joxer here just built me my very own shrine!”

Ares picked up an apple from the plate of food and started peeling it with a deadly looking dagger.

“You mean to tell me that Joxer, *my* worshiper, left me, for *you*?”

Strife started backing away. “Um… Unc, he came of his own free will.”

Ares bit once into the peeled apple and then threw it over his shoulder.

“I don’t care. No one, and I mean no one, leaves me to worship another god. Specially not a godling like you.” The angry god of war started forming a blue ball of energy.

Strife suddenly straightened up and walked over to Ares. “Go away Ares. This is my shrine. You desecrate it or kill my worshiper, my High Priest, and I will take it to Zeus.”

Joxer saw how Ares backed down immediately and the ball of energy dissipated.

“Neither you, nor Joxer will stay in this shrine for the rest of your lives, and when you step out, you will regret ever leaving me, and you ever defying me.” Ares left.

Panic started to seep into his nerves and the young god obviously noticed, and reasured him.

“Don’t worry, he won’t do anything. He’s too afraid of the ol’ buzzard to do anything.”

“Ol’ buzzard?”

“Zeus,” Strife clarified.

“Shit!”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m in trouble with Cowface again. I’ve gotta scram. But I’ll see ya later, ‘kay?”

“Cowface? Hera, right? Sure, I’ll be in town.”

“Great. I’ll find ya when I’m finished.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 4

Joxer saw the commotion around Ares’ temple and went investigating. The priests were outside, proclaiming that the war god had left a order to be carried out tomorrow morning. The scroll read a simple riddle:

To appease the God of War  
Sacrifice to Apollo’s ride  
A warrior, but not  
Of light white  
Of body and soul  
Pure and untouched  
Or suffer the wrath  
Of an unpleased God.

The villagers where distressed. They had just come home from battle and where in no means prepared for another war. And King Iphycles was away. And Ares’ seemed to want a specific virgin sacrifice, not just any girl.

As Joxer turned to leave, three guards stepped in front of him, while two more grabbed his arms from behind. Dragging him to the temple steps they held him up for the priests inspection. While Joxer tried to extricate himself from the guards grip, he heard the high priest say,

“We have found the sacrifice to appease our Lord, Ares, god of war: Joxer of Corinth.”

Joxer fainted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He woke up to find himself chained to the bed in one of the temples hidden chambers. He pulled on the chain and tried to escape, but it was useless.

Only one thing came to mind. He prayed to Strife.

A few seconds later, the mischief god shimmered into existence beside the bed.

“Heya Jox! What’s up? Why are you tied to the bed with Heph’s chains?”

“Ares. He ordered a virg… uh, sacrifice, and I was the lucky fellow who got the honor. Can you get me out of this mess?”

“Ya said, or ya were gonna say virgin sacrifice? You’re a virgin?!?!”

“Yeah, okay, I’m a virgin. You happy? Now, what are we going to do?”

“Simple, take away your virginity.”

“And how do you propose to do that?”

“Oh, that’s for you do wait and see.” And with that the god of mischief disappeared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 5

When he woke up, Joxer was still chained to the bed. He found that what had woken him up were the priest, getting him ready for the sacrifice.

Looking around, he found himself alone. Great, he thought sarcastically, now how do I get out of this mess?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A bright flash of blue light brought Joxer back to the present. He saw Ares lounging on his throne, one leg thrown over the arm rest.

He caught movement at his left and turned to see the high priest uncover a dagger. As the priest moved towards him, Joxer closed his eyes and relaxed, knwoing that if he tensed the pain would be greater.

Just as the high priest raised the dagger, another flash of light signaled the arrival of the god of mischief.

“NO!!!” Strife threw a fire ball at the priest’s hand, sending the dagger flying into a wall.

“Leave nephew,” Ares roared from his throne. “This is *my* temple. You with not desecrate it or harm my worshipers.”

“You cannot sacrifice Joxer.”

“And pray tell, why not?”

“Because he’s not a virgin.”

“What!!!”

“As of last night, Joxer is no longer a virgin.”

“That’s not possible.”

Suddenly a raven haired beauty appeared besides the god of mischief.

“Meg!” Joxer exclaimed from the altar.

“Yeah it is. Last night, Joxie and I, we had ourselves a little fun,” Meg said, leering at the naked Joxer.

“She’s not lying. And, I just got Zeus protection for him. Joxer being my first worshiper and all, and a good friend of Jerkules too.”

Strife meant business, and Ares knew it.

“Okay nephew. He’s yours. Have fun with him.” Ares disappeared.

Strife went to Joxer’s side and untied him. He let Meg cross over to him and kiss him gently.

“I’m sorry I left you alone, Joxie.” The woman said, while rubbing the circulation back into his wrists.

“Yeah, me too. Had some things to do.”

“Yeah, I heard. Thanks Strife.”

“Hey, you’re my High Priest, I couldn’t just have let ya die, ya know?”

Joxer felt like he could do anything. He was the first High Priest of Strife. At last, he was more than just trouble.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Epilogue

“You did good, Arry.” Aphrodite looked at her newest couple through a scrying mirror.

“Yeah, well. Strife deserved to be worshiped. He died at Callisto’s hand because he wasn’t atrong enough. I wasn’t about to let it happen again, even if it meant me acting like a jerk.”

“You were born for that role, Arry.”

“Ha! Funny sis. So, is that Meg gal gonna worship Strife too?”

“Yeah, she’s a lot like Joxie, nothing but trouble.”

“They’re perfect for Strife!”

The End

**Author's Note:**

> This story was "gen-ified" for the sake of providing to my mom one of my fics. She had seen me writing and wanted to read something of mine, and since everything I write is slash... yeah, mom would have died.


End file.
